Jo’s Cafe

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

- Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

- Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

- Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

- Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

- Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

- Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

- Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

- Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

- Law of Bio-mechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

- Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

- The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

- Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

- Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

- Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

- Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

- Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

- Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

- Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

Yup – seems to be about it doesn’t it?

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