My mother always told me I deserved nothing but what I earned. To that end I have tried to do my best to get what I deserved and wanted most of my life - and failed the majority of the time.
Why?
You tell me. The failures were not because I didn’t do my best, but at times others stood in my way without me knowing about it until it was to late.
As I get older the desire to do my best to get what I deserve is the same but the failures still mount and are starting to wear me down.
God - I stand looking at something I deserve because of hard work and something I want to move forward - but this has been before me before and I was turned away once. Its back again. Should I try again?
Can I take the heartache again of missing the mark of what I’ve worked so hard to acheive?
I don’t know if I have the strength to keep putting my best forward anymore to simply be denied again.
God what do I do now?
5 responses so far ↓
Jo,
Maybe this scripture and devotional will help life you up:
-Hebrews 13:5
Content yourself in the riches of God’s mercy. Unceasing are His gifts and constant is His loving presence. This world is but a passing frame—it is not your home, for you, as a believer, are a child to the great kingdom victorious! Heavenly are the rewards you seek! Eternal are the treasures you gain! Therefore, trust in the kingly majesty of the Lord and ever shall you be pleased!
–From Blue Letter Bible
Oopss…that should have been “lift you up”…
I’ll be prayin’ for ya!
WOW. I am relating big time. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Is it truly failure not to get what you think you deserve? Depending on the situation, it could simply be that it was someone else’s turn, or the timing was otherwise bad….or who knows what else that you simply didn’t know was going on. That’s not failure!
Most of us know the awful feeling of being so excited about getting something and have it pass you by. It’s easy to stand on the outside and say “keep trying” but that isn’t always the best advice.
I don’t have the answers…but I can say I’ll be sending my best thoughts. I believe your last line is the key to your answer…
I’ll be holding good thoughts for you and whatever you decide to pursue. I know you are a strong, hard working woman.
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