Ladies, Ladies, Ladies …

… I have been in distress most of the weekend.  Let me explain:

Spring time in the south can be called Pre-Summer.  The clothing and footwear move from sweaters and closed toed shoes to beautiful t-tops and sandals.  Now there is not much to be done when switching from the sweaters to the t-tops, other than adding a light tan (either natural or not) and ensuring that the flopping of underarm flab has been managed.

BUT Ladies (on the headache is starting at the back of my neck on the next point) PLEASE do not consider moving from the close-toed shoe to sandals without some prior maintenance to the foot.  There is NOTHING uglier than dry, cracked heels and toenails that haven’t seen a file or polish since you were in kindergarten.  I was walking behind a gal last Friday who was wearing sandals – and this is when the headache started – and my eyes caught and couldn’t be moved from the ugly, black, cracked heels she had.  Actually, it was all I could do to keep from losing my previously eaten lunch and walking into walls.  I know my eyes bugged and I started gasping for air.  I wanted to run up to her and throw her a bottle of lotion and demand she stop right then and there and put it on her heels.

If you must expose your feet to the air and the eyeballs of unsuspecting passers by, there are a few things you MUST do first.

1. Clean you damn feet.
2. If you have never had a pedicure, get one.
3. Put lotion on your feet before leaving the house – especially the heels.
4. If you have dry cracked heels that are dark and ugly, don’t put on the sandals until you have repaired the damage.
5. Paint your toes!

Now these are not hard things to do.  If you don’t want to pay for a pedicure from a professional, get with your girlfriends and have a spa party.  Put on cucumber masks to your faces and then start working on each others feet.  You can get pedicure kits from any drug store, Wal-Mart or Kmart. 

1. Soak them in nice, warm soapy water. 
2. Clean the cuticles with an orange stick – don’t push too hard now!
3. Trim the nails square across with scissors.  Clippers can damage the nail.
4. Use an exfoliating cleaner to gently remove the dead skin from your feet, especially them heels.
5. After removing your feet from the warm bath, wrap them in towels until you can put a great moisturizing lotion on them, then rewrap.
6. After you have allowed the lotion to penetrate your feed – usually about the time it takes to drink a good margarita with your friends, onto the toes.
7. Prepare the toes with a little swipe with a cotton balls and some polish remover.  You need to remove any lotion so the polish will stick.
8. Apply a clear base coat and let dry.  Then add your favorite color (purple is not going to cut it gals, most of us are too old for THAT!).  If you don’t want to wear a color, just apply a couple good coats of clear.

After doing all this, and having a great time with your friends also, make sure to put lotion on those feet EVERY DAY before you venture forth into the world.

Please – massive headaches and eye popping while walking into walls is not fun.  Save your fellow citizens from harm.  Take Care of Your Feet.