Jo’s Cafe

You know that little light on your dashboard that blinks an arrow either to the left or the right, and at the same time turns on the corresponding lights on the outside of your car… yeah, them — the blinkers.

Can someone please tell me why 90% of the people I have to deal with on a daily basis on the road DON’T USE THE DAMN THINGS :?

Now going back to the time period of my life where I was required (yes “required” to take driver’s education in school … the most important thing we were taught, outside of keeping that monster on the road, was the use of the blinkers. I was told to turn them on at least a 1/2 block from your turn when in town and a 1/2 mile from your turn on the interstate. I did not hear anywhere in those instructions about waiting until you’re half way through your turn before turning them on. I was also told to apply your brakes slowly after turning on the blinkers to further indicate a change is coming. That doesn’t mean turn blinker on half way through the turn after SLAMMING on your brakes so hard the car fish tails before turning.

These are simple little gadgets put on vehicles at one point when it became necessary to warn someone ahead or behind you you were planning to leave the current road. Some bright as a blinker guy probably got sick and tired of sticking his hand out the window in the rain and snow trying to tell others which way he was going.

From the Dictionary:

blinker
n 1: a light that flashes on and off; used as a signal or to send messages
2: a blinking light on a motor vehicle that indicates the direction in which the vehicle is about to turn
3: blind consisting of a leather eye-patch sewn to the side of the halter that prevents a horse from seeing something on either side [syn: winker, blinder] v : put blinders on (a horse)

Okay — that’s what I thought. It is a way to “send messages” or indicate “the direction in which the vehicle is about to turn.” My driver’s ed instructor didn’t lie to us! We are actually suppose to use the blinkers to send a message to the other people on the road that we’re planning to move in a different direction.

When did the option to buy blinkers on vehicles come into play? I mean the only reason I can figure out that you don’t use it is because they gave you the option to buy a cigarette lighter or a blinker, and you chose the lighter.

Oh — wait !!! Blinkers are “standard equipment on all motor vehicles”. So that means, you don’t pay extra for them. They are put on in the factory by some highly paid robot and aren’t even listed on the options package.

Okay — so if you don’t have to pay for the damn things — then why not?

Broken Arm? Nah, it’s not that hard to smack the little arm protruding from the steering column into the up or down position (up for right, down for left in the majority of the vehicles out there). You don’t have to reach down and PUSH a button, that would hurt on a broken arm for sure.

Afraid of germs? Well, if you’re afraid of germs, and it’s YOUR car, then you should have already cleaned the little arm off with one of them wet nap thingies you get at the BBQ joint. So that reason’s out.

The noise bother you? I mean, the sound that emanates from the blinking is so frelling loud it would just distort the Pee Diddy Doo Crap you’re playing on the radio. Well if that’s the resaon why do you see so many people driving in the fast lane with the damn blinker ON for 100 miles ??? So that reason is out too.

[Scratching head] I’m trying to come up with another option.
It’s not because you had to pay for it.
It’s not because your arm is broken.
It’s not because of the loud noise the blinking makes.

So why the hell don’t people use the damn things?

Ah — I got it!!!

THEY’RE STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

muttering to myself that I really need a vacation

My friend Tre has problems with bad drivers here.