Jo's Cafe

Have you ever had a serious giggle or laugh fest to the point where your sides hurt, but you keep laughing anyway?

Well the SGM and I had one of those last night; thanks to the blue light on the night stand.

While he was gone, his clock died one day and I never replaced it, so when he got home, we got him a new one.   Now you all know that when you go to pick these things out, you don’t get to plug them in and “see” how they are going to look on.   We picked the one with the biggiest numbers on it.  Since we both wear glasses, seeing the time at night is important.  So we get this thing home and plug it in.

Ships will never pass in the night outside our house.

It is so bright the night light in the bath room, 20 feet away, cut off.

When the SGM went to his mothers after getting home from Afghanistan, I covered the damn thing up.  For a week, I was able to sleep without this blue glow encompassing the bedroom.

I didn’t say anything.  Good wives deal.

Last night while trying to go to sleep, I hear the SGM smacking something with his hand. 

“What are you doing?” I said.  

“Trying to find a damn dimmer switch on this *bleep* clock!”  he replied.

“It doesn’t have one – I looked,” was my reply.   Thank God!!  He’s finally figured out a blue neon glowing ball in the bed room is not condusive to anything, including sleep.  That’s when the silliness and giggles kicked in.

SGM:  It’s burning blue dots into my retina.

Me: The airplanes going into Fort Benning to drop troops use it as a guide.

SGM:  I could use it to land medicas in a LZ.

Me:  If we’re not careful, Al Gore will show up and demand we stop using so much carbon.

By this time we’ve turned the damn thing down toward the night stand and blissfully we have darkness.

He threw his arm over my shoulder and I noticed a glow coming from his watchband.  His little compass.

Me: I didn’t know your compass glowed in the night.

SGM:  It only does that when its had a good light source — this is from the clock!! 

I lost it.  I had tears running down my face and my sides were aching.   He took his watch and put it back under the clock and then showed me.  The compass was glowing brighter this time.

Me:  You know PETA is after Al Gore for eating too much meat, because you know cows cause global warming from their gas. 

SGM:  So if we stop eating meat, what happens to all the cows left standing around?

Me:  I don’t know, they could sterilize them like they do the squirrels in California.

SGM: You’re kidding me.   Hey … they could use the blue light to blind them so they can’t mate.

Me – I’ve lost it by this time.  Thank god I had gone to the bathroom.

SGM continues:  Hey dude, why is that squirrel humping a park bench?  He’s been blinded by the blue light and can’t see what he’s doing.

So, we are going clock shopping this weekend.  It now resides turned down toward the carpet; although we are concerned it might start a fire!